“Family” is the basic unit of human society. When Allah SWT created Adam AS from mud, gives Him life. He started living in heaven, heaven is the place with ultimate joys، happiness, a luxurious lifestyle, a place where you get everything, you wish for, a place of contentment, satisfaction, and perfection. But even in this perfect environment, Adam AS felt bored and monotony hit him so hard. As Allah SWT is all aware of the feelings and emotions of His creatures, so He created a soul mate for Adam AS. Another human being, but with completely different but opposite physical features. Where a man is a symbol of masculinity, strength, and power, a woman is a symbol of femininity, delicacy, and beauty. Adam AS and Amman Hawwa AS made the very first couple of Human beings. This couple, when sent to earth from heaven, laid the foundation of the human race.
Importance of Matrimonial Relationship
What does this incident show? It clearly reflects the fact that a human being is bound to make a couple and a family in order to live happily, even if they are living their lives in a perfect place like Heaven. Another lesson, learned from this beautiful incident, told in Quran o Ahadees is, the very first relationship that came into existence on the face of the earth is that of a husband and a wife. This is the relationship, that became the foundation of every other relationship existing among the human race. That means the very first and foremost relationship is between a man and a woman i.e; the husband and wife relationship is the one that leads to a Family, which can be perfectly said to be the Foundation of the human race.
A sign of Allah SWT:
This relationship is so important and a very unique relationship of its own type, that Allah SWT said this relation to be a “sign of Allah SWT. There is no doubt about this relationship’s being a sign of Allah SWT. Two persons, that are born in different families, sometimes different cultures, different regions, and sometimes in different countries, when meeting together in a matrimonial relationship, though nothing was common among those two persons, this matrimonial bond, tie them in such a relationship, which is far beyond the personal interests and individual goals of both the persons. Their interests, their goals, achievements, and failures mean each and every aspect of their lives become common. They grow together, they step forward together, they live together, they set their goals together and if God forbid, they become fail in some aspect of their lives, they share their failures too. First, they make a couple, then they make a family, and family makes the fundamental unit of the human race on earth.
Challenges of a married couple:
Though a couple shares everything and aspects of each other’s lives, it is a fact that they do have two different personalities, they have different family backgrounds, different brought ups, and different patterns of Taleem o Tarbeaa. Shortly we can say that they have two completely different personalities and completely different points of view regarding everything around them is also influenced by their different genders. So it is very difficult for life to move smoothly. Married life is a bed of roses and a bed of thrones at the same time. It is surely a source of happiness, pleasure, and a feeling of completion. At the same time, it may cause anxiety, tension, and a sense of pressure, if the difference of opinion between husband and wife is not tackled in a positive way.
Suggestions for a happy married life:
Human behavior is so much diversified and various in its nature that no hard and fast rules can be stated or suggested for an ideal and happy married life. But some general suggestions can be stated in this regard that can be helpful for any married couple to cop with the difference of opinion between both of them, hence helping create a pleasant environment between the married couple.
• Admitting the reality of differences b/w both of them:
The first and foremost thing in this regard is to accept the reality that both members of the couple, are two different human beings, having different viewpoints. When both of the members of the couple admit this reality, they stop imposing their opinion and point of view on the other member, they start giving liberty and space to each other, hence a difference of opinion can be tackled in a very positive manner.
Positive approach towards each other:
Positivity is the trait of a human being, that gives a completely different outlook on all the matters of life, from a negative-minded person. A negative-minded person often lives in a self-created hell, where he/she, not only burns him/herself but also puts the lives of surrounding people in the hell fire. Always remember the fact, if you think positive, you will definitely be happy in your life and you will definitely make the lives of surrounding people a happy and contented life.
Avoid arguments, especially when any one of you is angry and in a furious mood:
When two people with different viewpoints, live together under one roof for twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week, the chances of getting angry are most probable. Anger is a fire, Islam lays great stress on controlling anger. If a moment of anger ever falls between a couple, it is very much suggested to avoid an argument at that particular moment. If the husband is angry at any matter, the wife should leave the argument and should keep silent, and vice versa. Any heated argument may cause catastrophic consequences for the married life of the couple.
Above mentioned are a few suggestions for a happy married life, but every couple should decide to behave with each other according to their very own circumstances, mental and emotional conditions and keeping in view each other’s temperament.